Blake Gets a Wish Granted

IMG_1978[1]Blake has long wanted to go stay with my husband’s brother and his family.  He thinks he’d be a lot happier with them and that they would be more understanding and accepting of him.  Yesterday, he finally got his wish.  They were all here for the day and, as they were leaving, he asked to go home with them.

My sister-in-law, who is well aware of the issues we struggle with, consulted with me before she gave Blake an answer.

“What do you think?” she asked.

“I think maybe he needs to get what he’s been longing for.  I think he needs to experience what it is really like. ”

“Is there anything special we need to be prepared for?”

“He may disappear to do some extra prayers, but other than that, he’s going to so thrilled to be with you, I think it’s going to be fine.”

“Okay,” she told Blake “go pack a bag.”

Blake was more excited than I’ve seen him in ages. He practically flew through the house to his room.  I thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest.

“I can’t believe it’s finally happening!” he exclaimed.  My brother-in-law was very ill for a long time and houseguests were not an easy proposition.  Blake had waited long and (mostly) patiently.  As my brother and sister-in-law and their four children left the house, Blake was the first one into the car.

I spent the last twenty-four hours wondering how it was going, wondering if it was as wonderful as Blake had imagined it would be.  Our house seemed a little too quiet, but I was so happy to see my boy finally excited about something.  This evening, I made the nearly 40 mile drive to my brother and sister-in-law’s place.

My nieces and nephews were excited to see me.  They talked excitedly about their overnight with their cousin.  Blake was in an upbeat mood.  My sister-in-law was full of praise.

“He is such a good guest.  He fits right in.”

As we left the house and pulled away in our car, Blake’s mood markedly changed.  He became quiet and solemn.  He didn’t want to talk.  When I asked about his visit, he gave me brief answers at best.  As we drove on in the night, I began to hear sniffling coming from the back seat.

“Mom, do you have a tissue?”

I pulled a tissue from my jacket pocket and handed it to him.  His tears began to flow and he cried the rest of the way home.  He couldn’t talk; he just cried.

As we arrived at a friend’s home for a dinner get together, he proclaimed, “It’s like having to come home after the best vacation ever – only worse.”

Blake stayed outside as I went in to join the group.  I was glad he’d had such a wonderful time, but my heart was sad for him.  Finally, he came inside and parked himself in front of an arcade game with some of the other kids.

When the evening ended, Blake drove home with me while Michael and my husband drove in our other car.  Blake finally opened up about his time with his aunt, uncle and cousins, and he shared about how he was going to bring some more of that into our home.

While I’m glad Blake had a wonderful time, I’m sad that coming home brings so little joy to him right now.  I wonder how we can make our home a place that feels better.  He deserves that.  We all do.

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4 thoughts on “Blake Gets a Wish Granted

  1. Visits and vacations are always more idyllic than home life, even with the same sets of people.
    One of the reasons is that we tend to be on our best behavior, especially if we know that we really won’t have long there. Even if we know we’ll be there for a while, we start off fresh, we haven’t had any fights with the people around us, we haven’t got an emotional rut, the walls here don’t yet have your memories painted on them.

    This is true whenever we have new room-mates, or when someone new comes to live with you, or you go to live somewhere new.

    It’s good that Blake feels so accepted there, and I do hope that the things he craves so much that he feels like he got there are things he can help bring back to your own family.
    At the same time, he may well have rose coloured glasses on about what it would be like to stay there.
    It’s always much different in the first little while than it is after you’ve gotten used to living with someone. There will be habits that don’t change, and if those are the ones you like, that can be great; but the “ride” is smoothest at the beginning.

    Of course, I’m sure you know this full well, but I do wonder if he knows it. If he has a great time there and thinks life will be better, the question needs to be what exactly he thinks is better about it. If that something he’s craving is just the smoothness and newness of being around people that don’t see him often, then I wonder if there is some way to disillusion him of thinking that, that would, or could, last.

    • Your thoughts reflect exactly how I think bout the whole situation. Things always seem best in that “honeymoon” period. I used to work in a residential treatment program for teenagers, and the first couple weeks were always terrific. Then they got used to us and us to them – and we all got to see what things were “really” like. I know right now that Blake thinks his aunt and uncle’s place is the best. If I can find a way for him to experience it more frequently perhaps then he will get a view of real life there.

      Thanks for commenting.

  2. It is hard when your loved one goes stays with others. They tell you that your loved one was fine. They saw no issues and are curious about what the big deal is. Sadly it is with those who love them the most that they can be their true selves with. Sometimes all the other people get the best of your loved one. I hope he feels better soon. I also hope that your heart will heal soon too.

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