Whew! It has been a crazy time here lately. I have been sick on and off since mid-April. Then I started running a low fever and didn’t want to get out of bed. The hubby convinced me to see the doctor and, yep, I had pneumonia. It forced me to have to rest. Finally, I am getting some energy back.
While all that has been going on, our family has been spending more time with the religious leader we went to see about helping to mentor Blake. Blake’s scrupulous observance had been getting so bad without a mentor to serve as a reality check that we felt we needed someone who knew better than us to help guide Blake. This man welcomed the opportunity to help and he, and his wife, have been a blessing to all of us.
About a year-and-a-half ago, we sought guidance from another religious leader. We hoped that if Blake could hear from someone in the know that his religious rituals were over the top that it might help him be willing to relinquish some of those rituals (such as prayer repeating and taking elaborate steps not to offend God). That attempt fell flat on its face. Blake knew exactly why he was going to see that man, and he decided before he heard anything that this person couldn’t be trusted.
This time, we are allowing the relationship to grow more organically. Blake and I have been taking religious education classes with his grandparents. Blake naturally had questions, and so he has been going to this particular religious leader to get clarification. We’ve all been invited to share meals in his home and to celebrate together. Blake has loved this opportunity and he is learning to trust the feedback he is getting from this mentor. It’s all still new, but it has been positive so far.
What’s also been nice is the collaborative relationship we are developing. While we seek religious guidance from him, the mentor turns to my husband and I for guidance on OCD. It’s completely new to him and he wants to be careful not to feed it. So, he is treading lightly, giving Blake the real answers, while checking in with us about what more he can do to help.
While we still have a way to go to see where this will lead, there is more calm in our home around Blake’s scrupulosity and religious observance. That is a welcome change from the nightly arguments we used to have around the dinner table when Blake’s religious rituals intruded on our meal time. The conversations at dinner are once again about movies and current events, and there is just a greater sense of ease. I will continue to provide updates as we move along this path.