“You’ve hired a dog trainer! I won’t take this anymore! What’s the therapist’s phone number?”
I give him the number and Blake calls the new therapist that the hubby and I have been seeing to help us work on getting Blake moving toward functioning. Our boy has been spending all day in bed and all night up doing who knows what. I see him for dinner and before I go to bed. He has few activities. He’s miserable.
Blake gets the therapist’s voice mail system. He leaves a message saying he doesn’t agree with what the therapist has his father and I doing. Blake suggests we all need to meet to talk this over.
Why Hasn’t He Called?
Nearly a week has passed and Blake has grown impatient. The therapist has not responded to his voice message.
“Why hasn’t he called back?” he wonders.
I have my suspicions. Blake rejected therapy when we brought him in to see this therapist. Now the hubby and I are the patient – in a manner of speaking. I imagine the therapist wants to talk to us first. We’ve been slowly implementing increasing demands on Blake. Each comes with an unpleasant consequence that targets his OCD if he does not participate. He’s gotten furious with each new step, but he’s been complying.
When the day of our appointment arrives, Blake demands to come with us.
“You’re welcome to come,” I tell him. “I’m sure the doctor will want to talk with Dad and I first. You might be invited in. You might not.”
“I’m willing to take that risk,” he says.
We arrive at the appointment and the therapist, the hubby, and I talk this over.
“Let’s see what he has to say,” the therapist says. “If he is willing to work with us, then we will have him stay. If he just wants to try to keep things the same, then we know he’s not ready to participate.”
He invites Blake in. Blake begins in a composed way, but he’s angry and he loses his temper. The therapist observes that our family spends a great deal of time going over what the problems are, but getting nowhere. He asks us to agree not to talk about the problems just until our next appointment. The hubby and I agree. Blake is having none of it.
“We have to talk about it! I can’t go a week without finishing this! I can’t! I won’t agree!”
And he storms out.
The hubby and I agree once more with the therapist that he and I will not talk about the problems or about what happened in the session. Blake is outside the building. He refuses to speak at all. He and I take off for home while the hubby goes back to work. Blake is silent for half the 45 minute ride home. Then, he apologizes.
“I’m sorry I exploded in there, Mom.”
“You were upset.”
“I know, but I really didn’t have a good reason to react the way I did. I agree. I’ll wait until next week to talk about things.”
“You’re coming back?”
“Yes. I’ll be there.”
So now Blake is in therapy with us. It’s not something he really wanted, but he wants more control than he’s had since the hubby and I have been going alone. That seems like a good place to start.