It’s been a month and a half since I last posted. It’s been a busy seven weeks. There was the annual OCD conference in Washington, DC, and a family vacation – and then there was getting Blake ready for college and moving him in. Yes, you read that right, Blake has gone off to college.
In my last post, I shared how Blake had begun to take steps on his own initiative to leave the house and do activities: a trip to the game store, an outing for coffee. It was surprising to us, and he continued to do it. The hubby, Michael, and I were all proud of him, though we tried not to make a big deal out of it. Making a big deal of things with Blake tends to backfire.
Last week, the hubby and I flew with Blake to the Pacific Northwest and helped him settle into an off campus apartment with three other young men. It was an emotional experience for us all – each for different reasons. For the hubby, it was about watching his youngest leave home; for me, it was a mixture of sadness at seeing Blake leave home, happiness that he loved his newfound independence, and fear that I will receive endless texts about how unhappy my son is or, worse, no texts because he just doesn’t get out of bed and is only awake in the wee hours. Blake felt a calm satisfaction at having his own space and making his own hours with no one looking over his shoulder, yet the specter of school weighed heavy on him as he hung his head sadly and declared, “I’ve never ever liked school. This is going to be the shortest college career in family history.”
Returning home was a strange affair. Our house feels incredibly empty. Blake was ever present on the family room couch. The hubby and I have new routines to establish, as well as the process of getting to know one another again with no offspring in the home.
How things will go for Blake is a big question mark. He’s texted once since we left him three days ago (well, actually twice – the first time being to tell us he got out of bed and went to orientation). He wanted to say “Hi” and tell us that all was well. I’m trying to give him a little space to make his own way. His therapist advised him to be aware that OCD symptoms can creep up on one when going through a new transition; depression symptoms can, as well. Blake prefers not to think about that. My guess is that this has to be exciting and scary at once for him. Let’s see what happens. I’ll keep you posted.