Don’t Other People Do That?

I haven’t written much lately about Blake’s OCD. Though it’s been in a “waxing” period for some time now, there are still “rules” Blake follows all day every day. This was a moment we had last week.

Our cat presents a challenge for OCD’s contamination rules

Blake is helping me make my bed and we are chatting as we work. The only problem is, our cat isn’t cooperating. He insists on walking all over the blankets and sheets, making it nearly impossible to move or straighten anything without difficulty.

Impatient with our furry companion, Blake picks up a pillow and starts swatting at the cat. He’s not actually hitting him, just trying to encourage him to move off the bed. He swats repeatedly, but it’s a fruitless maneuver. The cat only moves a few feet so that Blake has to move to another part of the king size bed to reach him.

I watch this scene with interest. It’s a pretty ineffective technique for moving a cat who is determined to stay put, yet Blake continues to try to use it.

“How about if you actually give him a little nudge with your hand, honey? Or maybe pick him up and put him on the floor?” I finally ask.

“Then I’d have to go wash my hands and I’m trying to wash my hands less,” he answers.

I don’t say anything. My silence obviously speaks to Blake who asks me, “That’s not unusual, is it? People wash their hands when they touch their pets, right? Right?”

“Um…that’s not what most people do. I mean, most people don’t run to wash their hands immediately after they touch their pets.”

“They don’t?”

“No. They don’t.”

“Ew. I don’t think that would be very uncomfortable.”

“Okay,” I say.

“Do you think I’m wrong?”

“Blake, you asked if other people wash their hands when they touch their pets. I answered you that most people don’t.”

“But am I wrong?” he asks.

“Only you can decide that, honey.”

“I don’t like to feel uncomfortable,” he answers.

“I know,” I say kindly. “Maybe, if you wanted to, you could expand the limits of what makes you uncomfortable by just waiting a tiny bit longer to wash after you touch our pets.”

“Thank you, mom,” he says.

That’s my signal that the message is received and he’s done with the conversation. Yet, this is the first time I can ever recall that Blake is questioning his behavior. He’s always just asserted that he is the way he is and that he thinks he is right. Today he is questioning whether his rules about what’s contaminated are in keeping with what others do. I don’t know that it means anything…but maybe it does.

2 thoughts on “Don’t Other People Do That?

  1. Jenny M.

    I am so grateful for you sharing your experiences. My 14 year old daughter started treatment for OCD in the fall. It’s been a challenging, difficult, frustrating time for her as well as the whole family, and reading about your journey really helps. Thank you.

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