Learning to Fly

The hubby and I are in the back yard having a moment alone when we notice Michael and Blake coming out the door. Their faces look purposeful. Michael’s looks gleeful.

“Mom, Dad – We’re moving!”

We’re not suprised by the announcement. The two have already been talking for over a week about driving across country, getting an apartment for a few months, and creating a small social bubble with a couple of friends Michael went to college with. It’s been an uncertain time for two young adults living in a pandemic. Job opportunities have been sparse for Michael (a recent college grad). What he can find he is way over-qualified for. They’ve both felt isolated. Fears have abounded: Will we ever find work? Maybe we’ll never have relationships or families of our own. What is our future?

Michael has also been worried about his brother. He sees him frequently stuck at home, sleeping way too much, struggling with a view of the world that lacks joy. He thinks time away is just what his brother needs. And one more thing: he adores Blake.

“There is no one else in the world I can better imagine doing this with,” he tells his brother.

Blake is uncertain. He worries about the money it will cost. He worries he won’t finish the book he’s about thirty pages from completing. He worries he won’t like living nearly two thousand miles from home. Nevertheless, he agrees to go – and he almost instantly regrets the decision. But OCD has made him a man of his word. If he makes a commitment, there is no gray. There’s no re-evaluation, no backing out.

“Please? I want to come with you.”

On a Sunday morning, almost two weeks ago, they leave our driveway in a car their grandmother has lent them. One of our dogs repeatedly tries to stow away with them, but he doesn’t succeed. Two pieces of my heart drive away. I’m happy and I’m sad.

The photographs from the road tell an adventurous story. Two brothers on the road together. The phone call when they arrive at their new apartment reveals that Blake has been nauseated since he left. Anxiety has taken over. He immediately is offered a job at a book store, which he takes. It’s his first “real” job. His nausea does not abate. His mind is a storm of unwanted thoughts.

Michael, awash in pride over having single-handedly installing wifi in their new place, is an incredible source of support for his brother, even as he deals with the reality that moving across the country is not as romantic in reality as it is in fantasy (friends aren’t as available as they promised they’d be; many hours are spent pacing the apartment floor, jobs are still difficult to come by). He drives his brother to and from his new job. He buys him ice cream to settle his stomach.

Blake wonders if he’ll last the three months he committed to. So does Michael. The hubby and I remind them that doing new things is hard, and to stay focused on the moment. One moment at a time. One hard thing at a time.

OCD Awareness Week

It’s a big week upcoming for OCD! Saturday, October 10, is not only World Mental Health Day, it is the Virtual 1 Million Steps 4 OCD Walk. Usually the walk is a live event that takes place in various places around the world. Groups meet and participate in activities along with the walk. This year, people will walk on their own and, perhaps, participate in activities virtually. Yours truly has her own shirt and will be walking with the hubby around our neighborhood.

OCD Awareness Week activities with the International OCD Foundation

Then, Sunday, October 11, OCD Awareness Week begins. Above, I’ve posted a photo from the International OCD Foundation. It shows a variety of activities going on during the week to raise awareness about OCD. Have OCD, or a loved one or friend with OCD? Check out an activity and share with others.