The big news this week is that Blake has decided to increase his SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) dosage. Seriously, it’s BIG news. I know. I know. For many on these medications, which tend to be the first line of defense in terms of medication for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), this is just a normal occurrence. Sometimes you go up in dosage. Some times you go down. That’s not the case for Blake.
Blake has been on the same dose of his SSRI since he was thirteen years old (13). He’s eighteen(18) now, in case you don’t know. That’s five years on the same dose. That’s more than two years of feeling he’d be better off dead. More than two years of people begging him to increase his dosage. His psychiatrist has begged, his pediatrician has begged him, his father and I have begged him. His therapist has encouraged him and challenged his reasoning on why he won’t increase his dosage.
“I don’t like being on medication,” says Blake. “It doesn’t help me.”
“How do you know it doesn’t help?” asks the therapist. “Maybe you’re not on a therapeutic dosage for you.”
“It doesn’t help. I don’t want to change it. It won’t help me.”
“How do you know if you haven’t tried?”
“I just don’t want to.”
Last week, the conversation came up again.
“Okay, I’ll give it a try,” he says, with little fanfare or need for cajoling.
He goes home and calls his psychiatrist and has begun a higher dose. I don’t know if it will make a difference at all in his major depression or in his OCD, but it is a big move for Blake to even try. So far, he is tolerating the increase well; however it has only been two days.
In other news, his therapist asked him this week how his week was. He’d been wondering how depressed Blake had felt in the past week.
“It’s been a good week,” remarks Blake. I haven’t heard him say that in – well, I can’t recall how long.
“So, it was a good week not to get hit by a bus?” asks his therapist.
“It was definitely a good week not to get hit by a bus.”
And Blake smiles.