It has been quite a long time since I’ve blogged. And some of you, dear readers, have been so kind as to reach out to check in to see how things are going. The truth is, it has been a very difficult year-plus since Blake was last in the hospital in July of 2021. I have found it much too difficult to write about our family’s experiences. I would like to give you a little update, though.
Major depression coupled with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a bear and it is incredibly painful to watch your loved one face them. Are things better? The short answer is, “No.” My son struggles to find a reason to stay attached to this life and obsessions and mental compulsions plague him.
The longer answer is that it is complex. Each member of my family has grown in their own way this year. Speaking for myself, I am learning to listen better than ever. I am practicing climbing into the deep dark hole and being present for my loved ones. I am learning to say, “No,” to requests, even though my instinct is always to say, “Yes.” I am learning to appreciate small moments. Some people suggest taking it one day at a time; I’m practicing taking it one moment at a time. It’s simpler. Hugs have a deeper meaning for me than ever before. A smile melts into my soul like it never did before.
While this year has been incredibly challenging, there has been beauty. And no matter where things go, I can say that we loved well and did our best.
My therapist shared this little animated video with me a couple months back. It’s taken from a Brene Brown talk on empathy. I think it’s a treasure.
- Angie
OCD In The Family 